A Thought and Prayer to Encourage You

I was going through my book of thoughts and prayers, and while reading over some old entries, I came across one that really hit me. As I read, tears fell. I remembered the desperation I was feeling at the time. I wanted so badly to do a work for God, and for Him to be able to trust me, but I felt as if God was so far away and had so many better people to use than me. After reading the entry, I wondered how many others feel this way. Feeling like God has just given up on them, or may not be listening because of sin or unbelief, but deep down, desire is screaming out. Desire to really please God, and to do something special for Him. Something that would really please Him, and truly make a difference in this world of people suffering with deep hurts and pains.

I want to share what I had written, and I hope, somehow this ministers to you.

Entry date: Unknown 

Conviction, it’s like a knife stabbing at my heart over and over again, wrenching at my emotions. Where do I stand? I don’t feel His power any longer, yet, He calls my name. Burden… you’ve escaped me! Commitment… where are you? Faith… how? Yet desire knows me well. It screams within me. In the midst of prayer, it consumes me.

I need you in my life Lord! I need a personal relationship with you! I need to know you! My heart is bleeding, my soul is starving. Head of stone, I despise you! Break this stone Lord. No, crush it! I can’t stand to live with this half-hearted servant hood any longer. I want a new thing begun within me! Destroy this mediocre man within me and bring up a new one.

I want to be used. I want to be used. I need to be used! I need to be used! Break me Lord!

I love you Jesus.


I can’t say that I’ve arrived at the place where I’m completely satisfied in the work I’m doing for God, but I don’t really think I’ll ever be able to say that. I can say however, I do see the purpose that God has shaped my life to become. All the hurts, all the unanswered questions, all the times I felt as if I was only being used and unappreciated by those I thought should love me. I see now how God has used these things to shape me into a man He could use; not only to do the things I had hoped I could, but to do the things He desires me to. I had to become broken, and then remade, so that He could see His own reflection in me.

I know He wants to trust me with the love he’s given me for others; to love them in such a way that when He reveals their secrets to me, I’ll take the time and love them through the healing process that so desperately needs to take place, to not judge or throw rocks for the faults I see but to love them the way He does. God first had to chip some really big things out of my own personal life so that this could be possible. Again, I have in no way arrived, but I can see a difference that wasn’t there before. What I see now is love. Love instead of judgement.

Thank you Jesus for not leaving me as the man I was, and thank you for all the hurts I had to go through to become the man you desire me to be. I love you with all my heart!

But God Doesn’t Care About My Future!

So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Matthew 6:33 NLT

Worry has got to be one of the biggest silent killers.  It plagues our mind, and like a canker worm, eats at our peace.  Ultimately, worry ends up destroying any chances of hope for having some element of joy in our current situation, more importantly, our future.  The most deadly poison that worry infects you with, is the thought that “God just doesn’t care about my future.”  When we let worry speak its lies, it’s not long until every thought of God becomes skewed.  The progression generally happens something like this;

“God cares about everyone else but me.”

“He has totally forgotten about me.”

“Why did I ever trust Him in the first place?”

“God is not a good God!”

“Does He even exist?”

 We must get worry out of our lives, or eventually, it may destroy us. Here are a few things to consider concerning God, worry, and the way to get victory;

          Fear is the main source of Worry

If the Devil is out to destroy you and your future, and if he’s going to succeed, it will most likely be through fear. The Bible tells us in Ephesians 4:27 “Don’t give place to the devil.” Because when you do, he comes in like a thief, with one intent, to steal, kill, and destroy the plans God has for your life.  The devil knows; your worries about the future, will end up destroying you long before the future even gets here. He also knows, the more fixated you are on the future, your present will appear even more bleak than it already does.

          The only way to defeat Worry, is to understand God’s love toward you

It is vitality important you understand just how much God loves you.  If you think, even for a moment, “God doesn’t love me,” you’ve just given fear a place in your heart.  Please, read very slowly, and deeply consider, the words God spoke through the Prophet Jeremiah to a captive Israel who had felt as if they had lost all hope of a bright future;

“I say this because I know what I am planning for you,” says the Lord. “I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future. Then you will call my name. You will come to me and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will search for me. And when you search for me with all your heart, you will find me! I will let you find me,” says the Lord. “And I will bring you back from your captivity. I forced you to leave this place, but I will gather you from all the nations, from the places I have sent you as captives,” says the Lord. “And I will bring you back to this place.” (Jeremiah 29:11-14 NCV).

 And now consider the main reason Jesus came into this world. “For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life.” (John 3:16 AMP)

          Why do I have to go through all of these Hurts?

This is a very legitimate question, and one that deserves an understanding.  The first truth concerning your trials that you must hide in your heart is this;  you can trust God completely through all of your trials!  I think one of the toughest things to understand, and even sort through in our minds, is that some of our trials God brings upon us, while others, we bring upon ourselves through disobedience. But whatever the case, God still has a plan and He needs you to trust Him.  Solomon had these words of advice for us to consider when going through our trials. “Trust the Lord with all your heart, and don’t depend on your own understanding. Think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths. Don’t consider yourself to be wise; fear the Lord and turn away from evil. This will be healing for your body and strengthening for your bones.”(Proverbs 3:5-8 HCSB).

  Remember Abraham?  God told him and Sarah they would have a child and they laughed in disbelief.  They believed God to some degree, but because of worry and doubt, they leaned on their own understanding, used their own wisdom, and came up with their own plan.  The problem started when they trusted only what they could see with their own understanding, and then began to rely on their own wisdom.  The real trial started for them when God asked them to trust Him for the unknown, and the impossible.  They added heartache to themselves when their doubt caused them to sin.  The greatest part of the story is that the promise still came to pass whether or not they believed it at the moment given.  The one down side; Abraham, Sarah, and all the generations after them, would always have to live with the discomfort of the product created by their worry and disbelief (Ishmael and the Arab nation).  

          Who am I, why would God choose me, and can he still use me in spite of my failures?

“But you are a chosen people, royal priests, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession. You were chosen to tell about the wonderful acts of God, who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” (1 Peter 2:9 NCV)   “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.  And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.” (Romans 8:28;30 NLT)  “So give yourselves completely to God. Stand against the devil, and the devil will run from you. Come near to God, and God will come near to you. You sinners, clean sin out of your lives. You who are trying to follow God and the world at the same time, make your thinking pure.” (James 4:7-8 NCV)  “You do not know what will happen tomorrow! Your life is like a mist. You can see it for a short time, but then it goes away. So you should say, ‘If the Lord wants, we will live and do this or that.’  But now you are proud and you brag. All of this bragging is wrong. Anyone who knows the right thing to do, but does not do it, is sinning.” (James 4:14-17 NCV)  “But when the Holy Spirit comes to you, you will receive power. You will be my witnesses” (Acts 1:8 NCV) “Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.” (John 8:31-32;36 NCV)